Students Against Unnecessary Ranting

Picture this. You're sitting in class listening to your professor lecture. Then all the sudden, the topic shifts; you begin to notice things getting farther and farther off track. Before you know it, you have entered the rant zone. How in the world did we get from the subject at hand to Ethiopian chickens being denied their right to quality feed? (Side note: I think if that rant ever did occur it would be incredibly entertaining and I wouldn't be complaining.)

I'll give you another example: talking to a friend. What's being said? Discussing the days' events, opinions on people, theories on life: you know, the usual stuff. Then out of nowhere your friend is on a major rant about the poor design quality of the Atari 5200. I could list even more examples but the point is this: rants are becoming a plague in all areas of our life.

Think about it. Is there nothing more awkward in life than listening to someone rant? You don't even have a chance to chime in. You are trapped beneath a whirlwind of opinions and emotions that have compiled themselves into a rant and there is no escape. Now I'm not talking about healthy, getting-something-off-your-chest ranting. That's totally fine. I'm talking about the kind of stuff that makes your skin crawl after it goes on for five minutes because you either have nothing to say or are just annoyed by the monopolized topic.

Ranting professors are the worst. All we want is the information we came here to learn and discuss. Yet, from time to time, we are subjected to a totally off-subject tangent. It's like throwing money into the furnace! At least with ranting friends, we can say, "Hey now, calm down and bring it back." With professors, we are almost powerless. And if we try to stop it, we could be criticized for being apathetic or closed-minded.

The action we need to take? A student group dedicated to unnecessary ranting. I propose it now. It will be called SAUR, Students Against Unnecessary Ranting, pronounced "soar." It's just beautiful thinking about it. Can you imagine attending a SAUR meeting? Workshops on nipping a rant in the bud, discussions on changing topics -- the list could be endless.

Sarcasm is your friend, good readers. Hopefully you aren't taking this too seriously. Bottom line is this: please be aware of what's coming out of your mouth, because if you go on a rant that no one has any say about, it gets really uncomfortable really fast. Professors, keep an eye on how much time you are devoting to a topic. If it's detracting from your lecture, do your best to bring it back. Keep it at a quick, entertaining tangent.

Friends, acquaintances, muggles and strangers, pay attention to what you're saying. If you start ranting and everyone's eyes begin to glaze over, cut it short. Language is a beautiful thing, but we must act now to make sure we don't bore the masses or make them uncomfortable. It's one step closer to world harmony… or at least pleasant conversation