On love lockdown

Many of us can remember that exact time in our lives when we first experienced something we probably never saw coming. The first crush. Whether it was on the playground in day care, in band class during junior high or at a high school pep rally, it was a moment that we started to see people a little differently. That moment may have ultimately ended in a rejection, "time out" or a first date – but no matter the outcome it put us on the map on the path of looking for love.

A fair amount of pessimism has haunted the dating and marriage scene in our society for the past several years. Often we hear the statistic "50 percent of all marriages end in divorce," but according to the The New York Times that number is not true. The figure is actually based on a simple calculation that compares the annual marriage rate per 1,000 people compared with the annual divorce rate. Researchers say this is misleading because the people who are divorcing in any given year are not the same as those who are marrying.

According to the Times article " Divorce rate: it's not as high as you think," the number has never reached 50 percent and probably won't anytime soon. After 50 years of rising divorce rates in the United States, they abruptly stopped going up around 1980.

While things seem to be getting better, it is impossible to tell what the future may hold. But positive role models that portray realistic love and relationships could help propel young Americans into a successful relationship future and a mind set that matches the real statistics.

To accurately discern the relationships the 9-12 age range looks up to, we look to tried and true annual awards – The Nickelodeon Kid's Choice awards.

The 2010 nominees for "cutest couple":  Edward and Bella (Twilight Series), Jacob and Bella (Twilight Series), Neytiri and Jake (Avatar) and the Obamas. The winner: Jacob and Bella.  

The fact that two relationships featuring the same character were voted in the top four cutest relationships of the year by kids is interesting in itself. 

Not to mention that in the most recently released Twilight film installment "New Moon," these relationships could be seen as very poor examples. Edward had seductively convinced school administrators to rearrange his schedule to match Bella's along with staying in her room with her every night to watch her sleep – sometimes when she doesn't even know he's there – which seems a little obsessive and creepy.

After Edward up and left Bella in the middle of the forest alone for "good," Bella fell into a great depression and didn't do anything or talk to anyone for months. Only after she started spending her time with a new man, Jacob, did she feel like the hole in her chest "was almost plugged."

Bella continues to engage in suicidal behavior along with Jacob for a chance to see a delusion of Edward in her mind.

After his own transformation, Jacob tells Bella he can't hang out with her anymore because if she makes him upset he'll hurt her.

Without the company of Jacob she becomes depressed again and jumps off a cliff for fun. Technically seeing this behavior as "cute" is alarming. Even more alarming is the fact that because of her risky behavior she and Edward are reunited and live happily ever after.

"Twilight" is just a work of fiction and isn't meant to be taken as a handbook for how to have a relationship. But that doesn't mean some young kids won't hope and dream to someday be inducted into that fantasy world and have their own perfect Edward or Jacob.  In order to protect our youth from this, it's important we install positive role models as well and work to make the line between fact and fiction crystal clear.