Interview with a Call of Duty addict

The following interview is fictional and for entertainment and satirical purposes only.

Jeff: Today we have with us former Call of Duty addict and University of Northern Iowa student, Greg Renots. How are you doing today, sir?

Greg: Quite fine, thanks.

Jeff: I'm gonna jump right into this... Greg, addiction isn't an easy thing to talk about, so what prompted you to do the interview?

Greg: I thought by doing the interview I could make known the true nature of COD addiction and put to rest any myths.

Jeff: To start, tell us a little about your first time and what happened after that.

Greg:  Sure... It started when I moved to Cedar Falls with a couple of friends. They we're basically good guys: one went to UNI and the other worked full-time at G.M.A.C. However, when they got home they'd take up residence in what they called, "The Green Room," which was simply a room with a couch, a recliner, a TV and of course, the sacred X-Box.

For hours on end, they'd sit in that tiny room, just playing. Every once in awhile when they'd invite friends over to play, I'd sit in and just socialize. I can't tell you how many times they tried to get me to play, but I'd pass... they understood.

Then after one particularly frustrating day at school, I stomped into “The Green Room” madder than 'it and started shouting at Brandon for no reason.

"Chill out, man," he said.  "Why don't you play some Call of Duty?  It'll calm your nerves."

So, I snatched the controller out of his hands and took a turn.
I didn't feel any calmer after the first game; I thought I did it wrong.

"Just play it again," he said.  "It usually takes a coupla turns."

So, I took his advice and played a couple more times. During the second game I felt that calmness overcome me. And by the third game, I truly knew what they meant when they called it, "God's gift to man."  We ended up playing 'til 2 a.m.!

But for weeks after, I didn't touch a controller. I didn't need to. Then mid-term hit, and so did the stress. Like a baby crawling back to momma, I went straight back to COD and things went downhill from there.

I started playing about once a day, which wouldn't have been so bad if I'd stopped there. But I kept playing more and more. Soon, I was blowing off friends on the weekend, and I even started skipping some of my classes or not doing all my homework. Nobody really noticed though, I mean, my grades stayed up, I still went to work and still did all the normal everyday things. I just liked to have a game waiting for me when I got home.

Jeff:  Okay, so it started to affect your schoolwork and the time you spent with friends; but when did you realize your habit was more than recreational?

Greg:  When my girlfriend started nagging me! 

"You never spend anytime with me; you're always playing that stupid Call of Honor game!" 

Normally, I've would've ignored her because she was always nagging but she had a good point – I was barely spending a few hours a week with her. What's worse is that I'd spend 20 or so hours of that same week playing COD.

Jeff:  How'd you quit?

Greg:  Cold Turkey!

Jeff: Wasn't that pretty hard to do?

Greg:  Well, at first it was. My friends said I was irritable and anxious for a couple of days after. But COD isn't physically addicting like alcohol or tobacco, so I didn't have tremors or cold sweats or anything. I just had to keep my mind off it. So, I started volunteering my free time at the animal shelter, at school, anywhere just to keep me away from “The Green Room.”

And it's amazing how much free time I found I had when I wasn't worried about playing COD all the time.

Jeff:  Greg, I'd love to hear the rest of your story but we're running out of space. To end, do you have anything you'd like to say to the readers?

Greg:  Yeah. I want to say that Call of Duty is not a bad thing in moderation: you won't become a serial killer or a communist simply by playing. But playing excessively can strain personal relationships and may make you apathetic toward things you once enjoyed. If you find yourself in that situation, know that help is out there, but it's up to you to seek it.

Jeff:  Good advice, Greg. I want to thank you for speaking with us today.  It was truly eye opening.

Greg:  My pleasure.

Jeff:  Folks, join us next week as John Holt, educational writer, and I discuss the industrialization of American education. Until then... Good day, and good riddance!