Lisa Simpson once said, "Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized and sold off piece by piece."
That’s a bit of a cynical view, but sometimes I can’t help but see her reasoning. A day is set aside to celebrate something, such as Valentine’s Day’s celebration of love, but the message gets lost in the glitter and glam. Instead of love, it’s commercialism.
I will admit that I usually acted pretty bitter about Valentine’s Day (on account of never having a valentine). I would reminisce about the days in grade school when we decorated Valentine’s boxes and gave candy to the rest of the students (everybody was everybody else’s valentine!). I even called it “Singles Awareness Day.”
Now that I have a valentine, what do I do? The commercials make it seem like I’m obligated to spend a small fortune on candy, cards and stuffed animals. I don’t see why I need to treat the day differently than any other when it comes to someone I love.
Maybe I just don’t get it. Doesn’t it suffice to say, “I love you,” and have a nice evening together? I always thought I should express my love for someone I care about on an even, regular basis, instead of wheeling out the whole artillery on Feb. 14. I’m not selfish enough to never go the extra mile, but everyone does that on Valentine’s Day.
I would think it would be all that more surprising and/or romantic if I just picked a random weekday and said, “You know what? Let’s go out for dinner,” “Here’s a flower to show I care,” “Let’s snuggle and watch a movie,” etc.
Also, do I have to be extra “mushy” in public on Valentine’s Day? I’m not one for theatrics. I’m on the border of comfort giving a small kiss on the lips in front of dozens of people. I don’t like seeing people make out in public. I don’t know about you, but it makes me uncomfortable.
Well, since I’m treading relatively new territory in the relationship department, I thought I would interview a University of Northern Iowa student couple, Jakob Elmquist and Sofia Seliger, about how they show affection and what their feelings are about Feb.14. Once I got past awkwardly explaining my idea for an opinion article (this was the first time I had ever talked to them), we got down to business.
“We hang out quite a bit,” Jacob said.
Having dinner, working out, pretty casual stuff. He didn’t feel too much of a special obligation on Valentine’s Day. He feels like he should get a little something; for example, he normally wouldn’t get flowers. We had a good chuckle when Sofia said, “I feel like I have to give him something because he gives me something.”
As for the whole public display of affection spiel, Sofia said, “I don’t feel a need to let people know.” She pointed out that I had to ask if they were a couple to make sure.
Jakob said they might hold hands or give each other a little peck (“a goodbye kiss,” said Sofia), but if you went too far over that it got “a little disturbing.”
Sofia asked me what I thought of Valentine’s Day, because she said it sounded like I wasn’t a big fan of it. I stated that I originally wasn’t crazy about it (but hey, at least my family gives me candy and/or money). I prefer to believe in the power of love, otherwise things get too depressing.
I guess it wasn’t the idea of doing something special for someone else on a particular day that I had a problem with; it was various corporations bashing me over the head with how best to celebrate it so they could make a profit. The real point gets lost. Though Hallmark’s card campaigns aren’t as extreme, I couldn’t help but think of the Christmas sale stampedes I hear about at least once a year.
I think I can find it in myself to not be the Scrooge of Valentine’s Day, especially now that I have a reason to celebrate. But I don’t think I can afford to buy five dozen roses.
Heart and/or Candy
Published: Monday, February 8, 2010
Updated: Monday, February 8, 2010
 "Photo: LIQUID LIBRARY")
LIQUID LIBRARY
Be the first to comment on this article!