He said, she said: Relationship advice

Q: I'm casually dating two different guys right now. I really like them both and I think they both want to be exclusive with me. What should I do?

He said:

Well, you've certainly found yourself in a predicament and unfortunately, it looks like you're going to have to deal the friend card to somebody in this situation. It comes as no surprise that you need to pick one of them to really focus on. On the bright side, if the one you pick turns out not to be the one you want, you have one (hopefully) at the ready.

At this point, you really need to start diving into their personalities and finding out which one you think you'd be most compatible with and that will be your obvious choice.

How do you go about doing that? Well, that's a good question. In all honesty, it's up to you on how you discover which one is the best for you. In offering any tips, I would just say try going into deeper topics when you both have conversations and really pay attention to what they have to say. It may sound a little odd, but you are really in a pickle here, so you have figure out how to resolve it.

Sometimes, you don't even have to do anything. If you get lucky, the problem will work itself out and one of them will either find someone else or will only want to be friends. I say this not as a lazy response, but as something to keep in mind. You can really stress yourself out in situations like these, and knowing that this will be resolved either by your doing or theirs.

Bottom line -- a decision has to be made somehow. Try not to jump to any quick conclusions to get you out of this situation. Think out both options thoroughly and come to a decision that you are truly happy with.

She said:

Casually dating two different men, huh? Good for you, girl. Or boy, whichever you are.

I think it's admirable when someone can stand to be on their own, without needing to rely on a man in a relationship. I also think it's admirable when a woman is in a strong, honest relationship. It sounds to me like you don't want the second one. It seems like, up until recently, you were just fine with the setup you had going. After all, getting attention from multiple men might not be so bad.

Things always go wrong during casual dating when one of the people decides they want to take it a bit further. You, however, cannot take things to the next step with both of them. So what do you do?

I suppose if you want to be exclusive with one, you'll have to choose. Just figure out first if that's what you want. Just one or none? Because at this point, you can't have both. You could list the pros and cons of each guy and decide based on that. Realistically, you're going to have to think about each one and decide who has the character, interests and morals that fit you.

If you like the single life, there's no reason why that has to change. Maybe you shouldn't make any sudden decisions, tell both of them that you need to take a step back and be friends, and try to enjoy yourself as much as possible. After all, you're the first person you need to worry about here.

You should change things before they get messier. I have full faith in you that you'll know what to do; sometimes we just have a way of knowing what's right. Good luck.