From the introspective perspective of an introvert

Hermit. Recluse.Narcissist. Loner.

All of these terms have negative connotations. And all these terms, in today's black and white, cookie cutter society, are synonymous with the term "introvert."

In general, studies show that three out of four people are extroverts, leaving the other 25 percent of society in the shun-worthy introverted column. As human beings, we have a tendency to dislike things before we understand them. Typically, it appears that people have no real reason to dislike introverts outside of their own lack of understanding.

Frankly, as an introvert, I'm tired of hearing the extrovert's definition of the introvert. So, keeping in mind that I am only one person and one opinion, I'd like to share that opinion with you as the introspective perspective of an introvert.

Since society exists within the social sphere, the inherent nature of the introvert is easily misinterpreted to be antisocial or self-absorbed by those who don't understand them. But to the defense of public perception, incorrect definitions, such as "a shy person," seem to leave little room for interpretation.

I don't consider myself a shy person in the least, but I understand where the perception may come from. Most people are mortified by the thought of awkward social situations from silence. To avoid silence people will speak simply for the sake of making sound. Talking to fill silence has a name: small talk. Looking at it this way, it's a little ridiculous that introverts seem shy because we don't create meaningless conversation.

But why is this? Why do extroverts feel the need to create small talk while introverts despise it? Great question; I asked the same one. I found an article on BrianKim.net (sounds legit) that says, in this case, introverts use more of their frontal lobe while extroverts use more of the back of their brain. Basically, introverts are stimulated more through problem solving, introspection and complex thinking while extroverts react more to interaction with external stimuli, or through processing sensory information.

Another misconception of introverts is their supposed lack of, or inability to have, substantial relationships, be they romantic or otherwise. Introverts aren't the type to go around accumulating "best friends." Just because we refuse more social invitations than extroverts doesn't mean we are any less grateful for the consideration.

These scenarios are derived from two issues: "batteries" and trust.

Introverts will often describe their need to be by themselves for awhile as, "needing to recharge their batteries." This is where introverts get the "loner" stigma, even though it is done out of personal need as opposed to contempt or laziness. This is a misconception that often gets us in trouble.

When this need is misunderstood, people conclude we are generally apathetic, or at least disinterested in them, which is not the case. Those relationships require a certain amount of trust and, understandably, it is difficult to trust something (or someone) you don't understand.

This is exactly why introverts tremendously value the relationships they have with people they can trust. So, the perception that introverts lack meaningful relationships only exists because that level of trust is something that isn't easy to find.

Obviously, introverts are different from the norm. In my opinion, it's because introverts don't feel the need to be affiliated with anything to feel relevant. Relying on others to validate your existence is a dangerous game.

Whether or not this helps you better understand the nature of introverts, they'll be fine. But for your own sake, don't be so quick to judge someone based on his or her apparent introversion (Google "famous introverts" sometime; you'll be surprised). Any introvert will tell you, in the words of Shakespeare, if there is one person to whom you must be true, "to thine own self be true."